Wow... feeling BLESSED!

I feel really bad for posting TWO blog posts this week about myself, but something major happened today & I just had to share.  (And I promise to get back to updates about the Ham Fam in general soon!)

I have been keeping in touch with Mrs. Wilson in financial aid at Texas Tech for the past 6 months; she has been super helpful to me and patient dealing with a 29-year old who has no idea what to do to request/accept/reject student loans.  I am proud to say that I went through 4 years at the University of Arkansas with no student loans, no debt, etc., but now that we're putting myself through grad school, it's a different story.  Mrs. Wilson has been more than helpful when it comes to explaining (and holding my hand through) the process of student loans.  Once I figured up exactly how much I'd have to borrow to get me to graduation, I about panicked.  That's when I started asking her about grant money -- money that I wouldn't have to repay.

Well, she informed me early last semester that I had been awarded a $500 scholarship.  I was beyond ecstatic!  That was $500 I didn't have to borrow... and $500 I didn't have to pay back!  Hallelujah!  It was past the deadline to apply for any grants, but she told me to contact her at the end of January to see if there was any grant money that hadn't been claimed.  Well, early this morning, I sent her an e-mail checking on that grant money, and thankfully heard back from her early this afternoon.  Her e-mail was brief, but the most exciting news I heard all day:

"I have applied an additional grant of $1500 to your account.  Have a great week."

Seriously?!  Was I reading this right?!  I broke down in tears, so thankful for what she had done for me.  She didn't have to just hand the money to me, and I'm sure there are thousands of other students that needed it just as bad as I did.  But, she blessed me beyond belief today and there is no way I can ever repay her.

$1500 is a lot of money to me.  Maybe it's because I've been a stay-at-home Mom for so long & I realize how every penny counts while living off one salary.  This money she gave me will almost pay my entire semester of summer school before I graduate in August.

As I was telling Justin when he got home from work, I started crying again.  He realized what a big gift it was and was happy to hear that I am going to send her a hand-written thank you (something that I think is not done enough these days).  He gave me a big hug & told me how proud he is of me -- keeping a 4.0 GPA through grad school while raising 2 kids and working a part-time job from home.  It made me smile to know that I make him proud.

All of this got me thinking how God is watching us all of the time; he knows our struggles, he knows our thoughts, he knows what we need.  I have been mulling over this loan money for months -- ever since I had to sign the form & start borrowing.  Questions like, "How long will it actually take me to pay all of this money back"... "I have always wanted my Masters, but is it worth it for all of this debt"... etc.   And it doesn't help when I tell people that I'm working on my Masters & they reply with, "Why would you be doing THAT?"

God provided for me today.  Granted, Mrs. Wilson may have just wanted me to stop e-mailing her about grant money & this was her way of doing it, but the way I see it, God used her to bless me in a way that is beyond what my words can explain.  He knows my struggles, he knows my concerns, and he provided.  Now, instead of looking at the grand total that I have to pay back, I'll always think, "Yea, but it could have been $1500 more I had to pay back, and it's not."

Thank you, Lord, for all of your blessings and for providing not just for me, but for my wonderful family.  We have more than we need & we give you all of the praise.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace as you trust in him."  - Romans 15:13